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Things that you hope you don’t hear when that nice appraisal man comes to your house…

February 19, 2010

So, have these stairs always sagged?

So, when was the last time the wiring was updated?

And your furnace was last cleaned when?

I’m wondering why this room appears to be architecturally and asymmetrically impossible.

Hmmmm. That’s a pretty impressive ice dam.

I’m wondering why your house is landscaped in such a way as to actually draw water to the foundation?

Have you ever had problems with poltergeists?

Do you always have a three inch long spark shoot out of your outlets when you unplug something?

Is it difficult to live in a house that was obviously built by people religiously opposed to closet space?

Is there a reason why you don’t have gutters on your roof?

Don’t you think those four foot long icicles hanging from your roof could be dangerous to people?

Is there a reason why the lights flicker when you turn on your television?

Is this house actually leaning or am I coming down with a brain tumor?

Do you find it pleasant to have kitchen cupboards from 1972?

Your garage appears to have more square footage than your house. Interesting!

Two centimeters of insulation are probably not enough.

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