Because A Mere Post On Squeaky Shoes Would Be Stupid
It was quite a three pipe problem. Suddenly, without warning, the favored boots purchased for a mere $24 at a resale shop over a year ago, began to fart.
Perhaps a more socially appropriate description would be “squeak” but Holmes noted that his new client was neither social nor appropriate so he let the matter go.
As Watson opened his journal to a fresh page, one unsullied by stories of African pygmies or wretched London street urchins who were no doubt under the employ of Professor Moriarty, he observed Holmes as the famous detective settled back in his favorite chair and massaged his temples.
After years of being the premier detective in London, the wizard at 221B, it had all come down to this: shoes that wouldn’t stop making socially unacceptable noises.
As his client relayed her story of filling her shoes with talcum powder and altering her gait, all to no avail, Holmes leaned forward and held up his hand.
“Madame, I grow weary of your banality. In order to stop your shoes from making noise, you must do the following…”*
*Insert your ending here…