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Shave And A Hair Cut

January 21, 2010

The time is coming nigh.

Another life decisions.

Once again, it could cause trauma and drama and have repercussions that will echo through the ages.

Or at least about six weeks.

It’s hair. My hair.

As I’ve stated over the years, the texture of my hair leads me to imagine writing the “real” story of my family tree.

“Yes, that’s William, he fought in the Civil War and this is Gertie, she liked to have sex with farm animals.”

I believe my hair has the approximate texture of the offspring of a goat, a yak, and my great aunt Gertie. (When discussing sex with farm animals, it is always to distance yourself by at least one generation.)

My weird hair will not curl. My weird hair is approximately as thick as three people’s hair. My weird hair has always been very sad. Oh, and there’s also the thing about me hating to mess with my hair and if “styling” my hair takes more than three minutes, I will not do it. (“Styling” in my world is synonymous with “combing”).

But I’ve decided to take the bull by the horns (or should I say goat?) and use modern technology to find a new hairstyle. Of course, I’m looking for your input here…

First of all, I need a picture of myself.


Now, before I can go forward, I need to see where I’m starting from…

I offer this as what my most recent hair style has been. It is great for supporting the hair products industry and picking up girls at the bar, however, I have made a moral decision that I will not support the hair products industry. You know, because God told me it was wrong…


Perhaps I should just go 80’s retro? Mullets are always stylin’, right? right?

Maybe I could even start a band!

This is what my hair always wants to be.  It’s kind of like those dead bears that they flatten and make into a rug.

I’m thinking I need some hair so that I can sing with the B 52’s because that is my overall life goal.

Or perhaps be the beautiful kick ass leader of the resistance?

Or perhaps the real cost cutting style, the Yule Brenner?

While I’m not a fan of keeping up with coloring my hair, if I were to color it, it would have to be blue.

With pink polka dots.

As you can see, I’m in need of a little bit of guidance.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. January 21, 2010 8:44 pm

    I have had many many years of observing, first hand, the journey that is a woman and her hair. I think it typically goes like this:

    I don’t like my hair – let it grow out – I don’t like my hair – let it grow out – I don’t like my hair – cut it short – I don’t like my hair.

    I think you get the idea. My dream is to just once in my life meet a woman who likes her hair. I have heard ‘my hair is too fine, my hair is too coarse, my hair is too straight, my hair is too curly.’

    My opinion, which is worth nothing, is that you should try your hair the way it wants to be, but get that severe angle cut thing where it has a straight bottom about down to your jaw bone and with straight bangs.

    Blue, with polka dots, would look awesome that way.

    Hey, you asked.

  2. January 21, 2010 9:42 pm

    HA! Those drawings are priceless!!!!!

  3. Tabatha Voros permalink
    January 21, 2010 9:44 pm

    10 cents! Have fun and be funky.

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