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And Then I Will Wrap Myself In A Gutted TonTon

January 19, 2010

Thanks to the MN DNR, I will become an “Outdoor Woman” at the end of February.

Yes. Me. The one that has an internal thermostat two degrees above cadaver.

Thankfully, I have the coolest friends (no pun intended).  One of them (another knitting buddy), told me about this retreat. She has never been ice fishing and is determined to drive her own snowmobile. As she was listing the various activities that participants could take advantage of, she said the magic phrase:

Dog Sledding.

Now, I’ve mentioned in the past about my strange fascination with arctic and antarctic exploration. Especially those expeditions that end in horror and cannibalism.

I LOVE CANNIBALISM!

(Wanna come over to my house for dinner? I’ll be having the neighbors for dessert…)

Perhaps I should temper that comment to say “I love stories about human beings in extreme circumstances and how they manage to survive.”

And if it involves cannibalism? COOL!

But back to dog sledding…I want to attempt dog sledding. I have an idea in my head about how the scenario will play out…

It might end up being, what is delicately referred to as a “cluster fuck” but it will be MY Cluster Fuck!

I’ll also be taking a fire arms safety course so dog sledding and weapons? Does it get any better???

My friend recommended that I apply for a student scholarship and when I called to get more info on it, they told me that they LOVED to encourage young people to come to these weekends. I just started laughing and told them that I am an OLD student but they gave me a scholarship anyway.

So now I come to the realization that perhaps I just might need to start asking my friends what size their snow boots and snow pants are cuz I have neither.

And perhaps those socks that heat up with batteries…and long underwear…

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. katherine winkowski permalink
    January 20, 2010 8:04 pm

    tina forget the firearms with your luck you will blow a foot off and freez you butt off

  2. January 21, 2010 7:31 am

    Sounds like lots of fun. It is cool that the DNR has programs for women, I have always thought of them as an “ol’ boys club.” I love having my preconceptions shattered.

  3. January 21, 2010 8:55 pm

    Wow!!

    Embrace the cold, ye empowered woman you! Dress sensibly, though. When the cold is combined with wind, or snowmobiles or dog sleds – wow – it can suck the warmth right out of you.

    And this is supposed to be fun, right? Do dress properly and it will be fun.

    Also, in my opinion, ice fishing is about neither ice nor fishing. Those are the excuses for sitting quietly and either pondering or ruminating.

    Did you hear about the dumb guy who went ice fishing. He caught half a ton of ice. His wife drowned while cooking it.

    Ar Ar.

  4. January 23, 2010 12:47 am

    Yay! Congratulations on taking the big step of deciding to do these things!

    If you’re looking for recommendations, I can hook you up with a female dog sledder, and also the awesome guy who taught my firearms safety course.

    Lemme know.

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