The Education of Me
Tomorrow is my first day of classes, I’ll have three online and one on campus.
The on campus class will be math. When I walk into the classroom, I expect to hear the theme song to “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.”
There are some preparations that I will be doing tonight, mainly dealing with my wardrobe.
I will put wide white medical tape on the bridge of my glasses.
I will find my propeller beanie cap.
I will wear short pants and suspenders.
I will scrub Dapper Dan into my hair.
My point? To put forth the illusion that I am lucky to have found the classroom. To make the instructor think “Well, this one is obviously mentally handicapped, I guess I’d better take THAT into consideration when grading her papers.”
I will take copious notes and occasionally wander aimlessly out of my seat to lick the windows
My concern though is that I will be surrounded by others doing the exact same thing.
Perhaps I could just take out my slide rule and say things like “Back in MY day we didn’t HAVE the interweb! We had to actually make PHONE calls through the operator and write letters by HAND. There weren’t none of this My-Face and Space-Book.”
That’s another possibility, be so incredibly annoying that the teacher will let me get away with any kind of grades because there is NO WAY that he’ll risk the possibility of having me show up in his class again. He will pass me just to get me the HELL OUTTA THERE.
It’s always good to have a plan.