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It’s A Good Thing I Can See My Breath, It Means I’m Still alive

January 3, 2010

It’s bunker mentality time. I am going to curl in the fetal position, cover my head, and pretend that it isn’t twenty billion degrees below zero.

I think that it is my “wanna get away” mind set that is making this winter so much harder. I don’t want to be here and below zero temps with mega below zero wind chills are the middle finger that this region is giving me. I believe that I am the cause of the cold temperatures…Minnesota is trying to buck me off its back. I’m sorry ya’all are having to put up with it too. I’m sure that as soon as I blow this town, there will be year round temps of 70 degrees and palm trees will grow in your flower bed.

By the way? I am also the wing nut that holds the universe together…please make a note of it.

Yeeeeeaaaaahhh. About my rampant megalomania…perhaps I will foster it with a career on Wall Street…

While I’m working on my stock portfolio, I am also making an enchilada casserole for dinner tomorrow and some cheese/ham/potato soup for dinner tonight.

All you native Minnesotans, can you pick out the “I’m not from around here” quantifier in that last statement? I’m sure you can…it’s the turd in a punch bowl…it’s the failure to use the magic word….HOTDISH!

I am not from here. I will not bend to the Native Language. Someday, I will go away and leave all you blond haired Lutefisk eating Scandinavians to your hotdishes and Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup.

Until then, I will occasionally crawl out from under the seven quilts on the sofa and check on my CASSEROLE and then shuffle back to the sofa and become very still and small.

Wake me when winter is over.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Tabatha Voros permalink
    January 3, 2010 8:24 pm

    Cranky today! Ah, well. Me too!

  2. January 4, 2010 5:37 am

    I tend to call them “bakes”, like, Ham and Potato Bake, or, Big Pile of White People’s Version of Mexican Ingredients Bake, etc. Hardly anybody notices.

  3. January 4, 2010 7:22 pm

    I suppose technically I am from ‘here,’ since I was born in Swedish hospital in Minneapolis, but my parents moved to the Chicagoland area when I was three, and I did not return until after college.

    The thing is that we claim you as one of our own, Tina, which rhymes with Lena, who is the sensible wife in all the Lena and Oly jokes.

    You are, as my parents used to say, ‘good people,’ and we are lucky to have you.

    Maybe your frame is slight, but you obviously come from hearty stock, and your heart is strong, so wherever you may choose to go, please call Minnesota ‘home,’ because many are cold, but few are frozen, and we look after our own.

  4. Cara permalink
    January 5, 2010 6:49 am

    Well, that and the fact that a HOTDISH is actually a femnazivaginawithteeth organization that has the audacity to pay for abortions….I mean who wants to eat that?! 😉

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